I have witnessed friends and family alike boldly embrace the role of a single mother. For some, death, divorce, absenteeism, and abandonment (just to name a few) may have caused them to have to parent independently. I have conversed with other mothers who decided that the social constructs of "traditional routes" to motherhood were not their desired methods. For those, the desire to give love to a child inspired them to be a single parent. Regardless of the life event(s) that afforded you the role of a single mother, I see you and say, "Roar on Lioness!".
While I am not a single mother, I wholeheartedly believe that single mothers deserve a special salute to acknowledge their strength, courage, and sacrifice. Often the financial strains, social isolation, and exhaustion (amongst other things) associated with being a single parent are not acknowledged or easily understood by some.
As a single mother, sometimes you sit in anticipation of child support (that may never come) and irregular monetary contributions. Even though the money in your bank accounts may always be a little less than what you feel is needed to give your child an abundance, you somehow make ends meet and miraculously find ways to provide for your child.
As a single mother, the endless responsibilities associated with parenting alone may sometimes restrict your ability to invest in friendships or pursue companionship. After a long day's work, you choose dinner dates with your children and graciously decline dinner dates with friends as a way to make sure that your children never feel alone. You choose to devote the "free time" you have to love and provide for your children, so you rarely leave your child to engage in social settings with friends. I recognize the single mother that works multiple jobs and may even be simultaneously pursuing educational endeavors, all while caring for your child and grappling with the guilt of sacrificing time with your child throughout the day to ensure long-term provisions.
As a single mother, you experience a level of physical and mental exhaustion that is unfathomable. In general, parenting is hard, but you are doing a job singlehanded that is more easily done by two. For example, as a married mother, I have the opportunity to discuss and engage in dialogues and share responsibilities with my husband as our son grows and the parenting demands change. However, I acknowledge that as a single mama, you are in charge and bear the weightiness of making all the tough decisions and responsibilities– what school your child attends, the age of maturity for specific responsibilities, etc. - and having difficult conversations about life. During the dual pandemic of COVID 19 and racism in America, you silently battle your anxiety, fears, perhaps unemployment, and instructional supervision while gracefully managing your children's fears and disappointments during this challenging time. You show up daily as the strong shoulder and fortress for your children's emotional wellbeing.
Listen up, Single Mom! I know that the world does not always acknowledge your struggles but honey, I am here to say, "Roar On Lioness!". Lioness, your experience as a single mother has made you rich in love, grit, and perseverance, and that's something money cannot buy. Continue to lavish your children with love and affection; they need and cherish that more than material possessions. You may feel the heaviness of isolation and the absence of companionship, and you may be downright tired. Single parenting is scary and challenging! Lioness, you are among the strongest people I know because you have tackled this parenting independently! You are physically, mentally, and emotionally strong. You are fierce and ferocious! Single mamas, I see you, and there's a special place in my heart for you!